a concise autobiography

In When Pride Still Mattered, David Maraniss explains that Vince Lombardi was raised in an environment in which a trinity of life was upheld: God, Family, and Sports. Although those close to him knew his ability to relate to his family was negatively affected by a total commitment to being a winning coach, this trinity of God, Family and Sports is still part of the Lombardi legacy.

Growing up, I was an active little bugger. Though never the strongest or fastest, Dad says I always had a sense of where to be on the field when, and my drive to compete was matched by little else in life. It was family that was at the center of everything, from family dinners to supporting each other at extra-curricular activities. In Cedar Grove we went to Church twice on Sundays to encourage Dad who was giving the sermon. Our reluctance to go to the sparsely attended evening services doesn't hide the fact that our faith was the center of my family's identity.

Is there a trinity of values that describes your upbringing?
Has it changed since becoming an adult, and has that change been purposeful?

For me, the block that begins my trio is writing. Writing is both how I process the world and how I want to be remembered.
Second, it's family. Without family I am not motivated to reach my full potential, lacking an outlet of someone to live for.
My third block would have to be reading. Reading books, of course, but also reading people and nature. In short, what do I get from life's experiences that rings true?

That's what this blog is all about.

27 years in 5 sentences

I am the son of Joe and Joli Moore.
I grew up in Cedar Grove, WI.
I have lived most of the last twelve years in the South.
I am a student of the written word.
I love my wife, Brittany.

I think I would in fact be willing to fight and die for my country in a war. There are a couple of reasons. For one, there's just something great about the loyalty of saying, "this is my country, and I'm willing to die for it." Of course, we should all be this loyal. I believe that's our duty to fight for our country. We have to also take into account that it's not just the name of our country we're fighting for, but for your own people. In a sense, if you die fighting for your country, you die for your friends, family, and all the people of your country. It's not only your life that would be on the line.

I belive that not only is it our duty as a citizen to fight for our country, but God would want us to be willing to die for our country also. It's just about the most unselfish thing we can do. And lastly, if I could choose my death, I would want it to be for a great cause, like dying for my country, than to just die of old age or disease. I don't deny that there would be a great loss involved if I died, but it would definitely be the right choice.

I definitely think that this sort of death is a glorious one. As I said before, you would be dying for family, friends, loved ones. Dying in the defense of your country is one of the most "glorious" deaths I can think of. I think anyone who dies fighting for their country is a hero. If you think about it in the other direction, you would be very thankful that someone was brave enough to fight for their country, your country. Although there's almost never eneough gratitude given to those who died for fighting for their country, there is glory. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

I wrote this essay as a sophomore in high school. God bless the USA.

travel journal: Friday

To the Airport
It is finally happening. A ten-year dream will be realized in less than 24-hours. I don't mean to be overdramatic, aber fliege ich nach Deutschland!
I am not nervous. The logistics are all taken care of. I am only a little exhausted because of the past week's sleep schedule. There will be plenty of time to relax on the plane.
We spent our last hour pre-trip with our roommate Stephen. He is very excited for us. Not as excited as Jason, my seventeen year-old brother, who has finally calmed down a bit. Last night he came over and we nearly choked with the anticipation.
We're about 30 minutes down the road. I've just written down most of the addresses for sending postcards. I am excited. There is so much opportunity. And I am going to seize it. Keep it with me forever.

At terminal E4, Atlanta
I plan to take some of Brittany's anti-nausea medicine soon after taking off and then crash a couple hours later, waking up not long before we get there. My body is that tired.
The three of us just got something to eat and we made jokes about drinking in Germany. Security went smoothely; I noticed the green recycling bins. Now we are just a few minutes from boarding. There is a very annoying court case being televised, and besides that there is too much light. I am not inspired yet for anything. I want to look around now and figure out who's indigeneous. It's relatively quiet in here.
My toe hurts a little. I am not exhausted but I do need some rest. They're boarding every zone but ours now, which is fine with me. When we get in there, I want to fly. In 10 hours we will be there.

At terminal E4...again?

"What Happens to a Dream Deferred?"

Well there were problems with the plane from the start. Though I didn't realize it, it was warm in teh cabin after we boarded becaues of a down air conditioner, so our lift-off was delayed. That was a bit rough. Then we finally took off and the games began--making playlists, watching movie trailers, playing games--until the captain told us they needed to fix the air before we could continue. Jason and I remained jovial, joking that Grandma dropped the ball because she didn't crumble sleeping pills into our granola bars. We were finally told the plane was turning back to Atlanta.
Before coming back to the terminal we ate more nasty plane food. And we thought we were finished eating American!
We have around 30 minutes now before we can expect something to happen. We are hearing lots of German chatter, so at least that is wonderful.

my philosophy of work

I have begun a five-essay project that I want to complete by the end of the summer.
The topic of the second essay is my Philosophy of Work.
Before I got too far in writing it, I realized I could easily put my Philosophy of Work in a nutshell:

Brittany.
I work for Brittany.
I wake up every morning for Brittany.
I clock into my mundane job for Brittany.
I make money for Brittany.
I work to provide for Brittany.
I go to my job every day so that Brittany will be proud of me.
I go through what I go through because I know that Brittany will help me through it.
I work so that she can be healthy easier.
I work so that I can have a place to go and represent us.
I work so that when I am done for the day my thoughts can be on her.
I work so that I can make her dinner.
I work so that I will have something to talk to her about at dinner.
I work because she is my wife, my family, my love.
I love you sweet girl.

poem: Legacy

When the day comes for the world to end
may it be said he was with friends
that he worked to write his mind alive
and pushed his body till it thrived
But above all else, I hope they'll say
his spirit breathed again--
he relearned to pray

poem: Falsetto

His voice is like lavender
hanging in the air like spring
high, forceful, strong, true
Each word demands respect and
when his lips part I am freed

poem: On Searching

  In my search for serenety
I am searching for something new
I am searching to be renewed
  I am searching

Separating

Earlier this week I undertook a project I had too long neglected: the simple task of organizing the papers I spent five years of college writing.
Why didn't I just throw them in a box, I kept asking myself. Or better yet, chuck 'em?
I hoped these papers would serve as a chronicle of my journey of the written word, and also a comfort in knowing that not everything I have written has ended up in the trash bin before reaching completion.
But why did it take so long?
I discovered that the delay stemmed from an issue of control. That and a little disease we call procrastination.

If you're like me, you like things to appear neat and orderly. Sometims I spend half my days off organizing the house so I can get twenty minutes of writing done. A pathetic ratio of productivity, but how can I expect to have a clear mind when everything around me is cluttered with "life"?

The simple truth is that life is seldom neatly separated, which makes it difficult to come across life altruisms. No subject is simply "black" or "white." There will always be a darker black and a brighter white, you know?

So I have come to accept that if I just pick up the pen and run with what's in my head, I might not say precisely what I mean to say, at least not at first. Someone else is bound to have a more definitive, educated opinion. They might even--gasp!--disagree with me.

Even so, one of my fondest memories when writing for the Digest one semester at Trinity College was when a female student told me she had read my latest article, an opinion piece on Michael Jackson.
"Oh good!" I said, beaming that someone had given my writing the time of day.
"Yeah," she responded, as a thoughtful expression came accross her face. "I don't think I liked it."
It's natural to become defensive when someone challenges our opinions, the paradigms we have constructed which rule our world.
But the reward for someone's response after having thought about what you said is well worth it.

So here's to not holding on so tightly to categories. Different opinions are what make life a many-colored experience.

First Church of Chris

I listen as my coworker makes avocados into thin slices for sushi roles. He slices and talks as if both actions were rudimentary to life.
As I stand idly behind my espresso machine where I work, I let him field a question that is a follow-up to a discussion we had earlier that week.

 “So, Chris. Other than curiosity, or devout faith, why read the Holy Books?”
Admittedly, asking him this makes me a little nervous. Chris subscribes to no organized religion as I do, yet he told me recently he was rereading the Hebrew Bible and Old Testament. I don't think I've read through the entire Bible even one time.

"First, to understand human motivation," Chris answers, going on to explain that there are many themes that tie into each other in these books, and the truth of them that connects with its readers is why the books have survived for so long.

Second, he explains, to touch the divine in all of us. Whether it comes from within or above, humans are gifted with a spiritual capacity. By reading the holy books we enrich that crucial aspect of our nature.

Finally, to show we don’t vilify a particular belief.
Chris is very conscience how his children perceive his life path, and this includes where he turns his attention to learn about the world.

“So it’s about respect,” I say concerning the last reason.
Although we may not share the same philosophical passion, by educating ourselves about what our brothers and sisters around the world profess, we not only better understand them but show that we respect where their faith comes from enough to know about its source.

Having no avocados of my own to slice, I idly handle the groupheads.
Chris’s honest thoughts make me think about how often people spend so much energy bashing the beliefs and actions of others that they come away having no idea where the other person is coming from.

This energy would be better spent furthuring one’s knowledge about his own beliefs.
Or even better, to live them out.

“You’re in my church now,” Chris says as he begins pruining a bunch of green onions. Smiling, I exit the First Church of Chris.

Then Chris lifts an eyebrow at me one last time.
“You know, reading the Book of the Dead once was enough for me,” he said.
"You can pretty much sum it up in one phrase: 'you are dead, you are dead, you are dead, go and be free, because you are dead.'

I am dead? Well, that takes a load off.
Guess I no longer have to spend time judging people.

playing the god card

Steve came into my dorm room with a cloudy look on his face. He had just asked a girl out on a date, and judging by his muffled cursing, I had a feeling I knew how it went.

"Tina said no," he said, striking the desk with his fist.
"I hate it when they play the God card!"

Playing the God card, though frustrating for Steve's romantic life, was an understandable ploy for girls on campus to use. As students we were encouraged to make career decisions based on our faith. Why not our dating paths as well?

It is an easy frame of mind to fall into. With so many young Christians on campus, we all challenged each other not to be impacted by culture, but to influence it for the glory of God. To accomplish this our thinking had to be faith-centered, influencing our actions. Often our word choice reflected this thinking as well.

There are two main reasons why being rejected by "the God card" is such a tough blow.
First, how do you plead your case when the other person is deferring to the highest authority? "Actually, uh, Tina, God told me we are supposed to be dating..."
Second, we all knew that using such God-coded language was a roundabout way of saying, "I don't like you." At that point it's just a slap in the face.

But why the temptation to use the God card at all? Why not just straight-shoot?
As a religious person I can relate to the desire to be inside God's head. The Bible speaks strongly against those who act against God's will, making it easy for the believer to try too hard to know what God's will is in every category of their lives, even every moment.
Whereas it can be helpful to remind ourselves of our core values, can someone really expect to know what God wants them to be doing every second of the day?

I don't think so. Vaguely speaking, I think God's ways are higher than ours, above our understanding, and that's ok.

The Bible is a large and extensive book. In it people are given teaching how to live well, and many of these are general principles that we have to take and use our brains to figure out application for our lives.

I think that any time we claim to know what God wants in a specific situation we have to be wary in how we carry ourselves. Because the truth is that other people are praying and reading their Bible just as carefully as we are!

This goes back to a general principle of how people live out their faith. What if we claim to do something because God told us, and in fact God didn't?

In my opinion it's a little presumptious, and even worse, lazy rhetoric.

when success becomes expected

If you want to read a good biography and you enjoy sports history, read When Pride Still Mattered, Lombardi, the Classic that Inspired the Broadway Play by David Maraniss.

My wife gave it to me for Valentines Day, even though she hates football. She's such a sweetheart.

Vince Lombardi is immortalized for the incredible success his teams had in Green Bay in the 60s. But like many successful figures, it was a long way to the top.

After years of coaching high school and college football teams, Lombardi came on as an assistant coach for the New York Football Giants, though it was the head coaching job he coveted. Maraniss describes the beginning of the 1956 season as a moment of confidence in the organization, one of those special tiems when success becomes expected (p. 175).

Growing up in a small town in the midwest, there were sports opportunities aplenty for me and my friends. Although I played on my share of poor teams, in junior high my soccer team went an entire season without loosing a game. We were undefeated! We all signed a soccer ball, and I like to think that ball still has a place in the trophy case among other accolades of that small private school.

Then there was the experience of the early Brett Favre years in Packer Country, when the entire state endured losing to the Cowboys in the playoffs for three straight years (!), only to make it to the big game the next two.

Success can be enjoyable, but it rarely comes without sacrafice.
What is it that we sacrafice on our way to achieving material success?

I often think about this tension in the context of family, career, and personal goals.
Which should come first? Our society values each of these.

I think that for most "family" is the obvious answer, but strangely the way we attempt to put family first is often by advancing our career.
And we can't ignore personal goals, because if we don't develop our own gifts and hobbies, we limit the ways others can enjoy our skills and experiences.

I think the key is to be conscious of how we view success, and to realize it is often a passing moment.
Enjoy it while it lasts, but realize that prestige isn't everything.

sustainability

When people in the South are reading something, they will often instead say that they are "reading on" said item of interest.

Well, I have been reading on Barbara Kingsolver, whom I will endearingly refer to as "Barbara" from here on.

Now Barbara has some great ideas. In Small Wonder (2002), she wrote essays encouraging Americans to rethink their response to the tragedy of 9/11. Instead of arrogantly assuming terrorists "hate us becuase we're free," she suggested there are ways in which our way of life as Americans are a cramp in the rest of the world's style.

We use a lot of resources, she said.

We think we don't have to make excuses for living comfortably, she also said.

I'm with Barbara on this one. I work at a natural foods grocery store, where all day long we are pushing products that are made without preservatives, food that was grown without genetically modified organisms (GMOs). I ride my bike there every day.
Every week I order coffee for our cafe that comes from our own city, to support local economies and save on shipping costs.

In other words, we are all about sustainability, at least in a commercial sense.

But Barbara pushes me even further by suggesting I get involved in my community and invest in my local economy with my decisions as a consumer.
And I wonder, is this really what it takes to live sustainably?
Ride my bike to work I can do, but the rest begins to sound rather inconvenient.

And I think that might be the point! As challenging as it is for parents to work overtime so they can provide for the future of their children, it is even more difficult to take Barbara's advice. Instead of making sure those we leave behind are provided for financially, perhaps we should focus on providing them with a knowledge of how to enjoy what we have. Remind them that everything we have, even if we have worked for it, is a gift.
Even the capacity for hard work is a gift!

I believe that good change can happen only when people have a sense of community. My wife and I are thinking about moving in with a couple we are close with and some of their friends, so I have been thinking about community a lot.

A community only thrives, some say, when it exists for a reason outside of itself.

Jean Vanier knew a thing or two about community:
http://www.larche.org/jean-vanier-founder-of-l-arche.en-gb.23.13.content.htm

In the face of Barbara's words, and figures such as Vanier, I accept the difficult task of loving on an leaning on other people I can trust.
I know I can't do it by myself.
If I want to have a positive impact on the world, I need to do it with other people.

dichotomy jesus

I was talking with a coworker about raising open-minded children.
"I don't want them to believe what I believe," Chris said. "I want them to believe what they believe."

I don't have children yet, but I'm sure that when I do it will be an interesting dilemma:
how much do I intentionally color their view of the world? How much do I leave to their own wisdom and experience?

The example Chris gave concerned what his kids were taught in school about Jesus. He thinks their teachers, while trying to appear objective, are instructing them based on a particular slant of Jesus. They only cast him in a certain light.

"There are two very distinct sides of Jesus presented in the New Testament," Chris persisted. He outlined them like this:

1) "I'm the Son of God, but don't tell anyone." (Matthew 8:4, 17:9)
2) Then (tossing his hands to the side in dramatic fashion), "I am the door!  I am the way!  You get to God through ME!"  (John 10:9, 14:6, 15:5)

Wow! I thought. We have on our hands a dichotomy Jesus!

What my friend was leaving out was that Jesus was a complicated person. Would you expect someone claiming to be the Son of God to be simple?

You also have to take into consideration that in Jesus' short time as a teacher before his death, he accomplished a lot. He was saying some radical stuff, which meant he had to be careful about what he said and who he was saying it to. He was very aware of his environment.

Matthew and John were different people, with different audiences they were writing to, probably in different decades of the first century. Is it possible that one author focused more on the times when Jesus spoke quietly to his followers, and the other author on the times when Jesus asserted himself more forcefully as a deity?

Jesus was a complex fellow, and he had much more to teach than the golden rule, "do unto others what you would have them do to you."

An article on slate.com from a few years ago has some interesting thoughts on different Jesuses.
http://www.slate.com/id/2150645/

The article makes a good point that our culture's view of Jesus, though based loosely on how the New Testament views this person, has more to do with what is relevant to us at the time.
For instance, if there is a concensus that our culture is lacking in strong male figures (thank you Homer Simpson), then the Macho Christ view of Jesus becomes popular.

I could certainly use help becoming an influential southern writer, so maybe I should believe in a Southern Muse Christ!

I think what my coworker asks his children is a good question for all of us in the South who are conscientous:
which Jesus are you talking about?

do you want to get well?

Dad and I were talking about balance.
As a consciencious Christian, he wants to give time and energy to people who desperately need help, love and encouragement, but doesn't want to become so drained by this that he becomes ineffective in daily life.
I related with his sentiment: we don't want to be so burned out that we have nothing left to give to our family and close friends.

Dad said he could relate to the words of Jesus, who in John 5:6 asks the man he is about to heal,
"Do you want to get well?"

If I was the paralyzed man lying on the ground I would have gotten a bit irate at that moment!

Do I want to get well! Who do you think you are, Mr. Miracle-man?!

But Jesus' question is valid. It is so easy to use our disabilities as excuses. Especially when people expect nothing from us because of our inefficiencies.
It's true Mr. Paralytic couldn't play soccer, but he also didn't have to work, pay taxes, or do community service because of his deficiency.

What Jesus was saying was, If I heal you, and you know it was by God's power and not by anything that you could have done for yourself, then you will have no choice but to follow me!

So take your time, think about it. Do you want to get well?

I am reminded of that great cultural mouthpiece, the film Spiderman.
"With great power comes great responsibility."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKmQW7JTb6s

Sometimes small acts of kindness are their own reward. But if a situation requires a large emotional investment, it might be best to help them decide whether they truly want the responsibility that comes with being well.

Sometimes, people are not yet ready to grow. And it's up to us to allow them to get to the point when we can help.

to whom shall we go?

I was chatting with my friend Phil about what it's like to have been raised in the church your entire life. We agreed that while there is often difficulty in relating to our parents' generation in how they have chosen to live out the words of Jesus, we admitted that even in our confusion it is very difficult to walk away from Jesus' words altogether. 
As Simon Peter says in John 6:68:
"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

What is it about the words of Jesus that make it nearly impossible to forget our upbringing?

I live in a region that prizes the love of Jesus, if only on the surface. It is very popular to attend church. In this way the words of Jesus, which admonish us to love each other, find a very natural place. 

But this can be misleading, because many of Jesus' words aren't that lovely! This is because they are about True Christian love, the kind that often requires us to give up our comfort for the sake of someone else.
This love, while uncomfortable in the moment, has greater rewards than those that come when people simply think we're "good people."

You can't forget your roots. And in this case, for me, that's a good thing.

good stuff coming

I have been hearing a lot lately that writers need to promote themselves through a website. Though I don't think I am ready for that step yet, I thought a blog would be a good place to begin presenting some ideas and getting some feedback.

Coming up I will be talking about what it is like to live consciously in the South.
What are our myths?
What is it about this land that makes it such a lovable place to live?

Stay tuned!

Supah Bowl!!

This past season my team won the Super Bowl. It was a tough road riddled by injuries and a slim entrance into the playoffs, a toilsome endeavor in itself which involved conquering three other cities.

I was with my team all the way. From the get-go I knew there was something special in the air. At least I hoped so.

There are fans of all sports who follow their teams through thick and thin. Some are blessed with reoccurring success while others hold on to one glory year of the past, or perhaps none. And then there are the fan-bases who wilt with no success.

I am none of those. I follow my team for my own convenience. I keep up with the team when success seems inevitable and I don’t when it doesn’t. Go! Pack! Go!